GoodFriday: On fifteen more, the weaker version & the tail end

Happy GoodFriday!

Here's something I heard, thought, and did this week.

Something I Heard: The Tail End

“It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time.”

Tim Urban, “The Tail End,” Wait But Why (2015)

Something I Thought: The Weaker Version

My wife told me this week that I seem happier than I’ve been in a long time.

My first instinct was to credit the obvious thing. I’m always growing. I’m not content being the same version of myself from one day to the next. If there’s a way to improve I take it.

But that’s not really it. I know plenty of people who live like that and they aren’t happy at all. Chasing a goalpost that keeps moving can just as easily convince you that the version of yourself you’re living in right now isn’t good enough. That’s not growth. That’s a slow way to stay disappointed.

What actually changed is that I stopped resenting the weaker version of myself.

I used to treat him like something to get away from. Now I’ve found ways to bring those parts of me forward instead. They’re not a past I’m outrunning. They’re part of who’s here.

The other piece is that I got better at being bad at things. I can accept that I’m not good at something yet and go to work on it without it meaning anything about me.

You don’t grow by becoming the ideal. You grow by making room for everyone you’ve been.

Something I'm Doing: 15 More

Last weekend my family and I went to Lake Havasu with my parents. I’ve been going to that lake with them since I was an infant. The time we spend out there is something I’ve always cherished and always will.

The last few years it’s gotten harder to make it happen. My kids are busy, work is busy, and we haven’t made the five hour drive a high priority.

But something struck me recently that made me rethink that.

My parents are in their early 70s and late 60s. If we keep getting out there once a year, we have somewhere around fifteen trips left.

Fifteen more mornings at the swing on the campground near where we stay. We walk down just as the sun is coming up over the mountains in the distance. At 6am the lake is glass, holding the whole scene upside down, and the sky turns pink and orange and blue like an artist painted it. Those mornings are the most special part of it for me.

Fifteen more of those.

The speed of life is strange that way. It feels like you have all this time. The reality is you have very little at all.

So I’m getting out there as often as I can.

Until next week!

-Cameron Harn